I do believe the fear of judgement affects many individual’s lives and can in fact stop people from following their true desires.
Fear of being judged for something you have done or something you want to do.
Have you ever not done something in your life because of the fear of being judged? By family, by friends, by the world?
Have you ever made a mistake in your life?...wait wait.. I don't like to use the word mistake. Let me rephrase that; chose a challenging path due to circumstances in your life?
I will fully admit the fear of being judged by others or the paranoia about what other people are saying about you is the one of the things I have struggled with the MOST in life. It’s something I have to work hard at everyday. Something that has limited me in many ways in the past.
We do have the power to become aware of this feeling and flip the script. To stay present. To stay aware of our environment. What matters is our present surroundings with the people in our lives that love and support us. Who believes in who we are. But the important part here is that YOU BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE.
Feeling judged can also create defensiveness in your mind. Defensiveness to explain your why, to explain what you want to do or what happened. To explain your story and the circumstances. We are complicated humans. It's most definitely not always as easy as black and white. TIP: Remember you do not owe anyone an explanation.
Here are things I felt when I was struggling. I was scared to leave my house or go to events for fear of the judgement.The fear, the paranoia of who I would see and if people saw me, would they scowl at me or say something mean? I wanted to explain in detail everything around my life that happened and why. I self loathed. I hated myself.
The thing that I had to learn – that we all NEED TO LEARN and really make it? STICK.
Dwelling on your interpretation of other people's opinions of you is unhealthy.
When we start imagining what other people are saying, we start imagining what they are thinking.
Then guess what happens. Our brains think it's true! WHY?! Because you are using words, negative words and creating scenarios in our minds, which are pictures.
So now you have created words and a scenario in your head that actually doesn't exist, but your mind and body don't actually know that. And what matters the most? The words we say and the pictures we make up in our heads.
We then potentially believe those words are true about ourselves and that creates a whole belief system inside ourselves. Below are part of some lyrics my husband is working on for a song he is writing. After I wrote this blog, I read his lyrics and they divinely had a similar message and I asked him if I could share part of them! So here they are!
People on the other hand have quite a different ring
They are all so unique each with their own thing
From an outside perspective, a place that is reflective
It’s hard to understand sometimes why we can’t play detective
But the thing to remember, every person has a story
You may not understand it, and it might not be all glory
There is not a single person that doesn’t have a struggle
Regardless of your nature, or your ability to juggle
The hardest thing to do, is to look straight through and understand that others aren't all that different from you.
You can give a little grace, if you are coming from a place that we’re all on a journey, not a sprint or a race
Show a little love, some support and understanding
Show a little grace and help create a soft-landing
How beautiful are those words? Reading them for the first time made me tearful, for feeing compassion for all human beings.
In conclusion:
Who gives a FUCK what anyone else thinks. Do not hold back. Stay true to you. Do what you love. You do not owe anyone an explanation. You do not have to defend yourself.
You are allowed to have a windy road in your life, learning and growing from all the events that have taken place.
You are, and always will be worthy, loveable and enough.
Align with yourself.
Align with your true feeling of who you are, what you want to do and who you want to be.
You are ALLOWED to be happy.
You are ALLOWED to give yourself grace.
You are ALLOWED to love yourself.
You DESERVE this.
XX
Melissa
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